I once tweeted so badly that it got published in the Sunday paper. It was grand opening day of IKEA in Saint Louis on a Monday and several of my friends were posting pictures of themselves in the crazy line forming around the building or standing in the parking lot with their new furniture. I thought I would add to the excitement by tweeting a snarky comment about the convenience of everyone now owning the same furniture so we would no longer feel the constant need to compare our houses. Helpful, right?
Normally, my need to be the jerk in a room full of happy people goes mostly unnoticed. But, within a few hours, one of the Twitter accounts of a local newspaper had replied to my tweet with the news that they were going to use it in their coverage of the grand opening. I assumed this just meant their Internet coverage but, lo and behold, someone mentioned to my wife the next week that they had seen my tweet in the physical newspaper that Sunday. She was less than thrilled.
Ironically, we were some of the very people who showed up on the first day at IKEA, a mere few hours after I posted my snarky tweet. We had been excited about opening day for months and had a blast going on the first night and exploring the store together. We bought something called “Len” for like six dollars just to have something from the first day (note: nine months later, neither of us are quite sure what exactly “Len” is and have never removed it from its packaging).
As I wrap up this series on Christianity and Social Media usage, I am reminded of this story because I wish that I would have had some sort of tool or process by which to decide whether tweeting an oblique, self-righteous, hypocritical critique of IKEA shopping was a good idea or not (PROTIP: It wasn’t). I wanted to end the series with something simple and practical, a grid to help myself and anyone interested learn to discern whether or not they are engaging with social media in a healthy way, based loosely on some of my previous posts and my own experience of using it poorly.
To that end, here are the six questions that I personally use to check myself when I feel uneasy about posting on social media:
Question #1 – Does this project a false self-image that I desire to create?
As I have written previously, social media provides us with a canvas on which to project our ideal self without the accountability of having to actually embody those ideals. Whether it is my passion regarding a major injustice of our day or simply my competency as a husband and (soon-to-be) dad, I constantly need to ask whether what I am saying has integrity with my life.
Question # 2 – Am I posting to avoid a call to further action?
Some good can be accomplished by posting online when it comes to issues of injustice or even as a way to promote products or people you think are great. However, it is also easy to use social media as a way of escaping the responsibility of getting directly involved. It is one thing for me to post a John Oliver video about equal pay for women; it is a completely different, much harder, much more legitimate thing for me to make sure the women I directly supervise are being paid adequately for the highly capable work they do. Both are important but if I am not doing the latter, I invalidate the former.
Question #3 – Am I using this to avoid healthy conflict resolution?
Occasionally when I see a friend post something that frustrates or even offends me, I feel the temptation to post some coded jab in response or to share an article that indirectly (or directly) critiques the way they look at the world. I have to step back and remind myself that if really care about this person and about our relationship, I should have the courage to directly address them and not allow the hurt I feel to poison our future interactions or my perspective of them as a human being.
Question #4 – Am I willing to be known for this?
Like it or not, your social media presence is giving people a type of mosaic overview of what you value and how you engage with the world. Especially when I am about to post something that could be controversial for various people in my circles, I ask myself if this position is something I want someone asking me about the next time they see me in person. Particularly if you are a person in leadership of some sort, it is helpful to consider whether or not whatever point you are trying to make is worth whatever residual impact it has on your relationships, especially with those directly under your care.
Question #5 – Am I willing and able to defend this and/or host conversation around it?
I am a firm believer that if you post something on the Internet that generates conversation, you are responsible for moderating that conversation. There have been several times when I have wanted to post an article that I found brilliant and perceptive but realized that my next few hours were too full to honor people who wanted to engage with me on the topic. This is particularly true if I think certain people in my life might say something harmful in response to what I am posting and I feel the due weight of engaging and deflecting their commentary. In those times, I simply closed the browser and went on with my day. Inevitably, other people found the article as well and I just liked their post when they did.
Question #6 – Does this honor the Lord?
This is my final question and it operates as a final “catch-all” check before I share. When I consider if a post honors the Lord, I mean does it make Jesus look good – does it acknowledge him as King? Does it highlight his resurrection and coming Kingdom as our only hope? Does it say true things about the world he made – both its beauty and its brokenness? There are many articles on “Christian” websites that do not honor the Lord; there are many articles written by atheists that do. I want my posts to make it clear that Jesus is my only Lord and this question helps to give a final screening for that.
Whether I’m posting an article about a political issue or a picture of my wife and I on a date, I find these questions helpful for self-examination and as a reminder that the Internet is not simply a vacuum into which I project whatever is on my mind, free of any consequences in the real world. These six questions ground me in reality and give me the freedom to simply walk away when needed, which happens more often than I would like to admit.
As this little blog series comes to a close, let me offer one final reflection. I have spent the past six weeks thinking, praying, discussing, and writing a lot about social media. I came into this series very optimistic; I have believed for a while now that social media had more potential for good than evil – I have seen it as a conduit for relationships and deeper connectedness across great distances, whether physical or ideological. As I write these final few paragraphs, I have to admit – I am leaving this series a little more guarded than when we began.
In studying the medium more closely, I feel a bit like Solomon considering the expanse of his kingdom and coming to the conclusion that all his pursuits were meaningless, a chasing after the wind. There are so many voices out on the Internet shouting about all kinds of craziness. Our world is not short of voices with opinions about issues – everyone is talking about everything at every given moment. Our world is short of people caring enough to close their laptops, turn off their phones, and do something about what they only pretend to care about online. The people I find myself wanting to follow have impact on the world that far outruns their presence online and I want the same to be said about me.
I leave you with the words of Solomon from the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter three:
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
May we be found doing the works of God that endure forever.